10 Ways to Keep the Sparkle in your Relationship

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Looking for ways to keep the romance alive?

What makes a relationship stand the test of time?  How do couples stay and grow together and still maintain that initial love spark?  Whether you're in a long term relationship and looking for inspiration, or are starting a new relationship, these 10 tips will help you keep that sparkle going.  If you actually do the things suggested below you might be surprised how easy it is to grow your love even deeper.

#1 Touch each other more. 

Touch boosts brain chemicals that help you bond and feel good!  A 20 second hug can trigger significant release of oxytocin. Snuggle and cuddle often! Give each other massages, even if they are only 5-10 min. Small touches throughout the day, even when you’re both busy and running around, can nourish the bond between you.

#2 Limit technology. 

Put away your phones and have a conversation. These days many of us are bordering on being addicted to our devices.  Relationships suffer from this lack of real connection. Make an agreement to put the devices away after a certain time, or for a specified time frame like meal time and in the bedroom.  Give your partner your full attention and make time to connect.

#3 Create unique experiences together.

It doesn’t need to be expensive, just intentional. Be creative! Studies have shown that the happiest and longest-lasting couples thrive on doing new and unique things together. Do things out-of-the-ordinary and break up old patterns. Here are some ideas: Make art, take a class (how about a couples massage class?), plant a garden, play, cook something extravagant, build something, or volunteer together. Of course traveling to a new place together is an incredible way to do this. Keep the adventure alive!

#4 Practice gratitude. 

Let your partner know how much you appreciate them.  Gratitude is the key to happiness in life and it is also the key to happiness in relationships. Be generous with your gratitude.

#5 Compliments.

Tell your partner often what you love about them.  It makes them feel good, and helps you to see them in a more positive way.

#6 Exercise together.

Breaking a sweat together increases endorphins and builds attraction as well as emotional bond.

#7 Check in.

Spend at least 10 minutes “checking in” every day.  Listen and share your day with your partner. It may not sound sexy, but this is foundational in a lasting relationship.

#8 Ask each other new and unique questions.

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask.How well do you really know your partner?Here are some examples:

If you could fix one world problem, what would it be?

If you could live in any era, which would it be and why?

For a whole set of interesting questions to ask your lover, check out these cards.

#9 Kiss more often.

Sometimes long-term couples let this passionate way of connecting fall away.  Make out, and agree it won’t lead to sex. Increase the longing, the desire for more.

#10 Make love as if it was your last time ever.

It sounds morbid, but it can be a powerful perception shift. If you knew this, how would the experience change for you?  Would you show up differently? Thinking about this can snap you out of habitual ways of making love, and into the present moment with your partner.


By Brenna Moore

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